Today, I see God’s hand everywhere in my life. Growing up good examples of a father were not
there. My series of stepfathers were either alcoholic, violent, cruel, and
abusive or liars and more. Why would I ever want to get married and have
children? In fact, what did relationships in adulthood show me except unhappiness
and destruction? But I did have loving grandparents and 3 outstanding Uncles. My
grandparents had a farm in the center of Michigan, and I lived there on and off
while growing up. I cherished learning from
my grandmother and helping my grandpa with the chores, or I thought I was
helping when we called in the cows for milking. He was the best grandfather a
child could ever want, and I gladly went everywhere with him. Being deaf and behind
the wheel of his Ford Mercury we’d race down those old country roads and into
the small village of Shepherd. He was so beloved that everyone knew he was speeding,
and they always turned a blind eye. Later,
back home after his chores were through for the day, he would sit in his
rocking chair and take me upon his lap and begin to rock me as I would rest my
head upon his chest that was filled with all the smells of the barn that I
loved, I’d fall asleep. My world was complete, I had peace, and all was well. Back
then, most children didn’t hear things like “I love you.” Though I never heard it, without question I
knew I was loved!
I was around 6-7 years old, and we were in the kitchen
one day, grandfather had finished up his lunch and I can remember talking back
and sassing my grandmother. I cannot recall what I said or why, but my
grandfather quickly grabbed me and threw me over his knees and spanked me. Though
the spanking stung,
my heart was broken that I had let my hero down.
That
was the first and last time I ever talked back, and he never spanked me again. I look back as a grandmother myself and can
see the love that went into that correction. He loved both me and grandmother, not
to allow me to become a spoiled brat and he demanded respect from me towards my
grandmother. My grandmother did not deserve the disrespect I had given to her.
He was protecting both of us. Grandfather did not stop loving me! In fact, if
he had let the sassiness slide it would have been a sign of not caring enough
to correct the rebellion.
I can remember my mother reading Dr. Spock’s book about
how to raise a child and parents believed what he wrote, and a world of permissiveness
was born. Before Dr. Spock came along, parents understood the work involved
shaping a character:
1.
Children were taught never to lie.
2.
Children learned not to sass their elders.
3.
Children were not allowed to run through a
store but stayed with the parent nor run through another’s house when visiting
unless they could go to a playmates room or outside to play. They never stayed
with the adults to listen to what they would say.
4.
Children asked permission to leave the
table.
5.
Children were taught to eat everything on
their plate, or they couldn’t have dessert.
6.
Children were taught not to waste
anything.
7.
Children were taught how to hold a fork
and other eating utensils and to close their mouths when they chewed.
8.
Children were taught how to hold a pencil
properly.
9.
Children were taught responsibilities. Life
meant to always help others.
10.
Children were taught to respect things
that belonged to others and to be thankful for what you had.
11.
Children were taught manners. In the
south, it was and still is; “yes maam, and no maam.” In the north it was “yes
mom or no mom.”
As a child grew, they learned
if they rebelled against any rules their parents had set, there would be
consequences. If they lied about anything, they hoped it would never be found
out. The child learned right from wrong. If they were raised in a godly home,
they learned about God, the Bible, prayed and went to church.
Thoughts that rebellious children are only in our nation are
false, the lie of permissiveness has seduced the world. Today we cannot compare
which nation is worse as few of us are on the same page. We have all been exposed
by the corruption of the permissive works of darkness whose lies keep them
chained to an unwanted bondage and whose sins keep them blinded to the truth. The truth is, before we are born-again, [John
3:3] we ignorantly work at destroying ourselves.
Love from God and those who love Him will take the time
to correct the child from going in the wrong direction. Grandpa loved me enough
to nip the back talk in the bud before it got out of control. He was not going
to allow me to get away with it. Once a child sees he can get away with
anything, he will do it again and again and each time will scale upon a higher
and more serious level. Love cares enough to say no and follows through on that
decision. How many parents ask permission from their children if it is alright
for them to eat their vegetables? If it is alright for them to stop hitting
their sister? If it is alright for them to take a bath or take a nap? A child
does not know what is good for him. Why are you asking permission from your
child to do what is right? Who is the parent? We cannot talk to our 2-year-old
as if he is an adult. Are you fearful that he will hate you occasionally?
Chances are, if you are a good parent, he will hate you from time to time, but when
he gets older and becomes a thinker, and begins to look around at his peers who
were raised in permissiveness, who became spoiled and became the most disliked students
in school, he will thank you for caring enough.
Growth
will allow him to see the dangers your corrections had prevented in his life. Do not allow fear to rule your household. Many
have been brainwashed into believing that if you correct your child, he will
grow up with many hangups. The truth is the child will grow up wondering why
you didn’t care enough to stop him from messing up his life. If you do not stop
him, you will enable him to go in the wrong direction. When he leaves home and begins
school, his teacher will have the chore to control his unruly behavior in his
classroom. If he continues to rebel, he won’t be able to keep a job. Finally,
down the road he will be stopped when he is picked up by the Police and put in
jail. If he still hasn’t learned his lesson, he will be placed in prison where
he will be disciplined and put on a strict schedule to be rehabilitated and
sometimes this takes years. I have seen
it. I have also seen a “perfect family” raise their children right yet produce
adults with many problems. Why? Because we are imperfect people. In some of the
most loving godly homes, there will still be hang-ups the children develop. Do
they not learn from our “perfectly imperfect” examples? If I was forced to
overeat a rich chocolate sundae 3 times a day, wouldn’t I gain unwanted weight,
become slothful or throw it up? The world is watching believers and asking, “Are
you real?”
What is pride but a compromised reaction for honesty?
I have also seen some of the most respectful and best
children come from the home of alcoholic parents. They had little chance to
understand what real love was and yet, I saw a rare depth of humbleness, kindness
and respect given towards me from their sons than those who were “more
privileged.” Those kids learned early
that if they wanted a good life, it would be up to them and they understood
their neighbors’ struggle, because of what they were going through, that life
was real and not a piece of cake.
Yet, hard times do not have to be a negative when you can
see through the lens of Jesus.
I have seen mothers defend their child when notified by
the teacher or law that their “Johnny” would never do something like that! Parents,
listen to the teacher or that one who has come to you about the problem. Every
time we don’t listen, we are crippling them to repeat their wrong. They learn,
“mom will protect me.” Children will do wrong because it is in their fleshly nature.
Only in Christ is this old nature broken, and through growth.
When I lived with my mother, I went in the wrong
direction because I did not have any boundaries. When I asked permission to do
something I always heard the words, “I don’t care.” I grew up believing that
she didn’t really care, and I learned not to care either. I was given money to
pacify the lack of her presence in my life. Parents, money will never cover a
multitude of sins nor substitute the intimacy a child needs, only God’s love
can do this that can work inside of you.
This is much like the way our Holy Father works in our
lives. If you believe in God then, you must understand that there will be times
when He will take the time to correct our behavior and get our attention. This does happen!
He knows how to slow us down, to be still and to listen to what He says.
This is very true for many of us. It happened to me, and
God got my attention.
When I found love in Jesus Christ and the realization
that we have a huge, Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresence Holy God who gave
His only begotten Son to be sacrificed upon the cross for you and me, I
believed. In my early beginnings I was yet to see or understand the depth of
God’s grace. After all, who was this God whom I called Father, to love me
before I even knew Him? What kind of love would give their only begotten Son to
be a pure sacrifice for the world so they could have forgiveness for their
sins? Later I was to see the futility of anyone to bring our Holy Father God
down to our level, thus limiting His ways for them to grasp further insight.
This doesn’t work.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are
your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Is.55:8-9 niv
The Holy Spirit gives us faith to reach out in belief
right where we are at the time to accept Jesus as truth, Lord, and our Savior. We
are given the gift of grace [undeserved favor]. As weak as we are, we learn
that our strength is in Him who lives within us.
It is impossible to please Him without faith because
believers are called to a life of love and faith.
Growing, doing, speaking, and working, we still see
through the glass darkly.
“Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then
we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as
I am fully known.”
1 Co.13:12 niv
The surest thing in my life was that I had entered the
all-consuming holy power of agape love inside of me. I was a sinner and
forgiven. I experienced the new birth. I
was set free from every sin I’d committed in my life. I had good reason to
rejoice and give all my praises to the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I had been
taken out of a mirey pit of clay and had my feet placed upon a rock. Now I had
the Kingdom of God within me. I knew I would never be the same.
I ask you a few questions:
Do you think that no one can possibly understand what you
have gone through in your childhood, in your marriage or at work?
Listen, there are many of us who have been abused,
misused, lied to, rejected, ignored, and even abandoned. Never think you are
alone for even a minute. If you have struggled, so have we.
When you look at your life, can you see a way out of the
darkness?
Trust me, fear of man blinds and binds, there is a way
out and it is the same door we have walked through. His name is Jesus.
Have you lost all hope in your life?
The greatest thing that blocks fear is hope and that
comes through the love of God. No matter what you have gone through, where you
have come from, what you look like or what you have done, God’s love is so much
greater, and He will forgive you and change your life. Can you believe this? This
is why Jesus came, to set you free from the chains that has bound you. The
deeper the pit, the higher the love.
There is a reason why you have read these words, it is
not a coincidence.
Our time on this earth is so short. Everyone of us have many
stories to tell about our yesterdays and when we look back, we are amazed that
we lived through it and then realize it was only by the grace of God’s hand
that we are still here.
My life changed when I held my 3rd baby in my
arms and began to read The Book of John. I had never read about such amazing
love before. God loved me first before I even knew Him. Was this the Father God
I had met when I was placed in an orphanage when I was 5 years of age? Yes, He
was the same God and indeed, He was my true Father. Then I learned there was only
one way to forgiveness and that was through His Son Jesus. The words leaped out
to me, “You must be born-again” to see the Kingdom of God.” I knew this was
time and knelt by my bed and
confessed my sins and asked Jesus to come into my life and my heart.
I believed that Jesus is Lord and I returned to the God of my childhood.
Right now, you too can accept Jesus Christ as your Savoir
and allow God’s Holy Spirit to begin in your life changing journey.
I write these things because of all the experiences I
have been brought through in prayer. Though we have been failed by others, we
have a God who will never fail you. Our God is faithful.
Listen to what Jesus said:
“I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never
go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you,
you have seen me and still you do not believe. All that the Father gives me
will come to me, and whosoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have
come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of Him who sent me.
And this is the will of Him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that He
has given me, but raise them up at the
last day. For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and
believes in Him shall have eternal life and I will raise him up at the last
day.” John 6:35-40 niv
There is no time, like the best time and that best
time for you, is now.
Please pray this small prayer from your heart.
Heavenly Father,
You have seen my broken heart and how I haven’t been able
to trust anyone in my life. It seems like nothing works for me at times. I need
Your love, I need Your truth, I need Your help. Your word says that You love me and that If I
believe in Your Son Jesus my life will be changed. You have given me hope. I
believe that Your Son went to the cross and was a sacrifice so I would be
forgiven. Please forgive me for all my sins. [Name those you can remember],________.
I repent and ask that Your Holy Spirit
fill me up and be my strength, talk to me and teach me how to follow through
with this prayer. Be my strength. I ask
to be born-again. In Jesus name I ask, for I understand this is your will in my
life.
If you have prayed this prayer by faith and with a
sincere heart, you are born again. Now you must begin to study the Bible to
learn about Jesus’ love. Find a good Bible believing church and make new
friends. They will help you with your walk and will pray with you when you need
it. Congratulations and welcome into the family of Christ!
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