Little Hearts #2

“Little Hearts” #2

Good Morning,

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us.” 1John 4:18,19 kjv

O Holy Spirit, take complete control of the thoughts in my heart and my mind and adjust them according to your complete will. Do not allow anything to be written that is not of you. I trust in you completely to take charge over these articles. In Jesus I ask, amen. 

Walking through a door surrounded with cobwebs can stir up our memories and intensify our emotions. But we know God’s love is greater and higher than any jagged path we walk on earth. He replaces our fear with a bedrock of peace in our hearts as we fall into our Father’s arms once again.  We are all like walking picture books of our yesterdays and some of us have gold covers. I have gone from victim to victorious! From the beginning of my new birth, I was graciously given an incessant love for the word of God and as I drew closer to God he drew closer to me. In all the ways I once gave myself to the allures of the world, are now given zealously to embrace the one who opened my eyes. I said; yes! He is my best friend and we meet every single morning. 

And, this can happen to you!

The Bible is filled with stories about dysfunctional families. Every family is dysfunctional. I can say this because everyone has sinned and no one is righteous. Ro.3:10,23. Unfortunately, the judgement of what is dysfunctional is decreed by many woes of today who twist the truth and believe their own lies. Isaiah 5:20

Mother told me she married my father on a dare. I never met him, but had my fair share of step-fathers and each time, my mother would pin their last name upon mine. Enter.. identity crisis!  Sorely confused, who was I anyway? Around 13, I thought: “Wait a minute! Why did I have to use their last names? Standing my ground, I began to use my real father’s name.  Unfortunately, my mother fell into a pattern of calamitous relationships that injured the both of us. She once told me that my father had thrown her over the refrigerator when she was pregnant. Horrors! Back then, you listened and questioned little.  [fridges were small, like boxes in those days] Mom lost too much blood during my long and difficult birth. By this time, we had returned to my grandparents on the farm and grandmother took care of the both of us.  The Doctor suggested she drink beer to gain some weight. Mother slowly gained strength and was resigned to the fact her first marriage was over. Later she married a filipino man who owned a supper club. People were eating, drinking and dancing. We lived upstairs. Unaware, that her new husband was given to fits of rage, one day he threw a meat cleaver at her in the kitchen. Then, he tied me up to a kitchen chair and violently beat me at the age of 5. I do not know why he did this or how my mother found out because, the whole ordeal was so painful and traumatic, I blocked the memory out of my mind. It wasn’t until I was in my thirties when my mother and I were talking and she brought up the incident. Astonished I said; “What?” She said, “You mean to tell me you don’t remember what happened?” And, she began to tell me the story. All I can remember is how sick I felt and a Doctor coming to my bedside and giving me a shot and falling asleep. No doubt this was to examine me. My mother was forced to make some quick decisions to protect us. Remember, I had blocked the whole incident out of my mind. She placed me in a Catholic Academy [Orphanage] in a nearby city for little girls and gave me over to the Sister in charge. Crying, I begged my mother not to leave me. I felt completely abandoned. I did not understand why she was leaving me with strangers. Mother must have informed the sisters about the abuse, as they watched me closely. Then, a miracle happened in my life. I discovered I really did have a Father. A Good Holy Father who loved me so much He actually sent His only begotten Son to be crucified for me and you, so we could have forgiveness of our sins! I met Jesus Christ who was The Lamb of God!  

I quickly adapted to the strict schedule of having boundaries and discipline inside of the home. We were taught etiquette and how to be young ladies. We were taught about good vs evil.  Everything pointed to Jesus. We walked single file to mass 3 times a day and prayed before and after our meals. Best of all was when Sister Jane would pick me up while sitting in her rocking chair and read letters from my mother. During one reading, I learned my Uncle Joe had died and I felt such pain I couldn’t talk about it and refused to believe it. 

I don’t know how she did it, but Sister Jane always had time for me. One day on her lap, I clearly remember asking her, “If Lucifer was so important and beautiful, why was he kicked out of heaven?” Her gentle reply was, “Because he was very vain and wanted to take over and be just like God.”  To this day, I praise God for Sister Jane and being placed in a safe and secure place, a place where I was loved and where the beginning of my journey with my Father God began. 

I learned that I can either be too careful and sit on my past and keep the door shut or flip it open and offer hope to wounded hearts that need to be assured; they are not alone. Instead of standing in a river of resentment, I have chosen to swim against the current and then, rise up and soar with the eagles! 

And, so can you!

Never give up! God is faithful. He hears all our winged prayers and it is without a doubt, He continues to answer us according to His will and timing..

Heavenly Father,

I ask that your Holy Spirit would touch all wounded hearts that read this message and begin to give them insight and hope through the love of your son. Honor these seeds to fall on good soil. Use them for your glory and to help set others free from all bondage of resentment, hate, anger, bitterness and give them the knowledge of your Words to bring light and victory into their lives. In Jesus name we pray, amen.